My flaws

I am not a perfect ten
I have a shitty attitude and my outlook towards life sucks
I am in no way worth it
I am paranoid about almost every, I have trust issues
I have a lot baggage truly speaking I believe everyone is out to get me
I make conclusions about situations in my life
I fear rejection and heartbreak
I can never love because my pride would not allow me
But truthfully I don’t think my heart is fit enough to take another load of pain
My body could not possibly recover
I may be depressed for months and my positively end my life
If not death then mutilation would be my second option
The thought of my blood may calm me down or merely physical pain can cancel out emotional pain
If I don’t hurt myself I will probably cut those who hurt me because to me they are the scum of the earth
How dare they walk into a volcano ready to erupt
Do they not know a disaster waiting to happen or is it their mission to break me?
I know I don’t deserve love
I will probably never receive it after all neverLet love grow inside me
I think I am toxic
Maybe crazy but do you blame for walking away
Choosing others happiness before mine
Placing their needs before my own…
I have been hurt before
But that mustard seed of pain
Made me realize I never want to feel the mountain of pain
So I anticipate the day your word’s will hurt me
The day your arm’s don’t welcome me
The day another is rated above me so I ask myself why me?
Did you just care about yourself more than me?
Was the twitch between your legs enough to break hearts?
Why did you go for me when you had her?
Why did you choose to play on graves whose name you don’t know?
Cause I am a walking grave
See I really don’t mind death or dying alone
Coz one I don’t mind death but the after life scares me
My resume is not one that will enter heaven and the biggest rejection I fear is from God
Two I am not afraid of dying alone because I have accepted no one will truly love me
So I will much rather live alone
I am not worth it
But mostly I fear Abandonment

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