Stuck in a maze of thoughts

We spend most of our lives planning on our next move,dreaming about our future and careers. We spend about 12years stuck in a classroom, we are told education is the key to success. On my wall hangs my bachelors degree and honours degree yet I don’t feel like I have achieved nothing.

I waited for that big Aha! moment for years now, that moment when I feel like accomplished something but nothing. I remember years ago when I passed matric, my classmates were jumping up and down. They were going through emotions that I didn’t feel. I was being congratulated, people where happy for me and my parents were so proud of me.However I felt like a loser, busy concentrating on the marks .I thought damn!!!you could’ve done better.

All the education in the world, but still I felt inadequate. I wish someone told me how to be confident, how to be courageous and take risks.I look at my certificates and I feel like I am not cut out for this.sometimes I feel like a headless chicken, running around in a maze of confusion.

I wish I could change a lot of things about me,however I am stuck between not having enough will power to get out of my box, my stubborn nature,anxiety and fear. Uhm….all in all I am trying to figure out a lot of stuff. I can assure you its way too hard to act your age, too hard to transition into adulthood and to be the exception not the rule.
“Maturity is high price to pay for growing up.-Tom Stoppard”

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